Updated: Jun 18
Taking a Look at the Father Work | Holly Shantara Transformational Life Coaching
“It is a wise father that knows his own child.” —William Shakespeare
You may have wanted your dad to know you, but you knowing him has equal value.
Exploring your relationship with your father will play a significant role in shaping your future. This connection is positive for some, while for others, it can be negative or nonexistent. Whether you or your father know eachother or not, it is essential to recognize that healing is possible and necessary for personal growth and professional well-being.
By intending to heal your relationship with dad you will create space.
This process begins with identifying what is unresolved and expressing your emotions to your father, even if he is absent. Take the time to listen, forgive and seek additional support if needed. Acceptance and growth through courageous self-reflection and compassionate inner work is transformative and helps you grow as a person.
Spiritually, our paternal relationship with "God the Father" can be a loving or punishing model that influences acceptance or rejection from society and can bring up a whole other set of issues that may or may not help you heal your relationship with dad. This model can resonate deeply or create confusion. Regardless of your spiritual beliefs, your father modeling plays a significant role in shaping your character, career choices, beliefs about relationships, and even how you handle money.
A father's guidance can have a powerful impact on one's life.
Although I lost my father in 2018, his good influence can still be felt daily in my service work, how I conduct myself, and the success I allow. Even if your relationship with your father isn't as positive, it's important to recognize that healing is always possible and essential for your personal growth and well-being.
How do you begin the healing process with your father?
Take a look, courageously searching your heart and identifying what is unresolved. Visualize your dad sitting across from you in a safe place and allow yourself to feel the emotions that come up for you. Are you angry, sad, or indifferent? Whatever you're feeling, take the time to get it off your chest. If your father were here with you right now, what would you say to him, ask about, or do to express your true feelings?
Once you've expressed your feelings, take a moment to breathe and listen, feel and sense the needed transformation. Keep in mind that your father may have also experienced challenges and struggles in his own life, and try to view him and yourself with compassion and understanding. He was once a child too, as you were, with a father who influenced his sense of self. Healing may involve forgiveness for past mistakes or hurtful behavior, or it may simply mean acknowledging and accepting the past and moving forward with a new perspective. By doing "The Father work" and spending time to heal with your relationship with dad, through compassion, you'll make space for qualities like self-acceptance, empower and success.
Even if your father isn't present, you can still work on your relationship.
Journaling, art projects, or inner dialogue processes will help. As you face him, you may begin to open courageously in areas of your life you might have been avoiding. Of course, it's also important to recognize that healing isn't a one-time event but may be an unfolding process over time to resolve past wounds. The effort is worth the deeper dive. As you work through any unresolved issues with your father, you'll find that you're better equipped to handle changes personally and professionally.
The wisdom to nourish the relationship with your father, when cultivated consciously, even if he is no longer on the planet, can bring forth incredible rewards.
Taking responsibility for this bond will help expand your confidence, character, and career choices and open possibilities for an empowered future for yourself and the generations to come. It may not be easy or comfortable to create a more positive and accepting relationship with your father, but doing so, will yield powerful results.
The Father Work is best served with intention and commitment today to become a better version of yourself tomorrow.
Are you looking to heal your relationship with your father? Learn how inner work, professional support, and compassionate healing can help. Start the journey!
You are invited to get on a Free Connect Call to help your deeper dive.
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